Mastering Consistency: The Key to Lasting Self-Improvement Habits

This is what's going to keep you consistent no matter what. You will never waste your efforts and you can

never unlearn anything because you're gaining experience. Every time you do something for yourself, your future self

will thank you for that. And that way, you trust yourself even more to keep showing up. And the most dangerous

person that the world honestly needs to be afraid of is not the smartest guy in the room or the most talented or the

most charismatic, but the one that keeps showing up even when there's no guarantee that they're going to be

rewarded for it. They are devoted to the cause and that's how they will succeed because that person is a bit delusional.

The Lulu maybe even a bit crazy but they're consistent about it. Salulu it is so scary in a good way and if you put

a bit of strategy and patience behind that then that crazy consistent person is going to win big and reap all of the

rewards over everybody else because the easiest way to feel regret and sadness about your life is to have big dreams

for it and then you crush them with your own in actions. Think about it. You can have the best plan in the world or have

a ton of money or you can be the most talented. But if you're not showing up and putting in the work, then you would

have done nothing. It is extremely noisy here at the moment. I'm outside. There's a lot of environmental noise going on.

How much lawn are they going to mow? Everybody just decided to mow their lawn at the same time today, so let's just

keep going. But the person who keeps executing and staying calm, even when nothing's guaranteed, they're at least

trusting that their work is going to pay off eventually. That's what we're going to be talking about today. So whether

it's a new habit or routine that you're building or a new skill that you're trying to learn, as long as you keep

going at it over time consistently and maybe even staying a bit flexible to pivot if you ever get stuck, there is no

way that you're going to lose. I guarantee it and I'm going to teach you how to stay consistent. If you're new

here, hi, my name is Nay. I make videos about self-improvement, transformation, and becoming the kind of person that you

yourself can respect. if you're on that same journey as me. Welcome. You're exactly at the right place at the right

time because I'm getting into it today. You may notice that I'm somewhere new. I'm in Key West right now. I'm actually

supposed to be on vacation, but I still want to talk to you guys about consistency, which is very timely

because you can see that no matter where I am, I'm always just always thinking about you. The things that you do in

private will always show up in public. Like for example, if you read a lot of books, then you're going to reference

them whenever you talk to people. The food that you eat shows up physically in your body and in your levels of energy.

And if you're very confident, it's probably because you've already proved how much you can trust yourself to

constantly be slaying and do whatever you need to do. On the other hand, if you fail to care for yourself, that also

shows up in public. If you don't manage your stress properly, your stress will come out in how you carry yourself and

interact with other people and maybe you get really irritated easily or you take your stress out on other people or

things and you're constantly escaping your own life. I never have to escape my own life because I love my life. You

don't even have to force yourself to be disciplined because you have to. You don't have to do anything. Discipline

can also be you doing something because you love yourself and you know that doing it will also improve your future.

And you're also very privileged, by the way, to even be here because there are people out there who want nothing more

than to have what you have. You're so fortunate to be able to decide what to do. So recognize that and be grateful

for that. It's always a good reminder to be thankful for our lives, especially if we're very hard on ourselves. And that's

the kind of lesson that I'm constantly learning. I want to give you guys a real example,

and this is something that really keeps me grounded, which is my skincare routine. So, for the last 6 months, I've

been consistently using skincare products from Yapod, and they're the sponsor of today's video. And the whole

reason why I have such clear, nice skin today, and I don't even need to use foundation anymore, honestly. It's

because I have been staying so consistent with good habits, including my skincare routine. And this is the

best real life example of my results because you can physically see it. I really stuck with it and it shows that I

have discipline and I will do whatever it takes. So all your products are made in Korea using natural and effective

ingredients and sustainable packaging. They've basically taken the traditional Korean glass skin method and turn it

into simple steps that anyone can follow. Every morning I start with a clean face which is when I begin

layering on my skincare products. And my steps are so simple. You don't want to complicate anything. You can always

rotate your products but I never use 10 to 12 steps in a skincare routine because that actually adds more stress

to your face. I also always look at evidence-based ingredients in skincare which Yapoda straight up has and it's

minimal and clean which is great because I'm a huge stickler about doing only what works obviously. So the first step

is the mishap which is a lightweight hyaluronic acid hydrating mist. This is my favorite toner mist because of the

hyaluronic acid ingredient which helps your skin retain the rest of the products even better. I even bring this

with me sometimes during the day just to like spray on me because I live in such a hot tropical climate. So, this step

actually makes the rest of your skincare routine even more effective because hyaluronic acid retains all of that

moisture that actually preps your skin perfectly for the glow hero serum. And I think that the ingredient in this

Bakuchio oil is what really gives me that glowy glossy skin look and it keeps my skin looking so radiant and healthy.

The last step of my routine is sealing everything in with a moisturizer. So in the morning I use the make my day cream

and then at night I use the midnight magic sleeping mask and they both contain centella aiatica or sika for

short and this is an incredible ingredient K beauty because it repairs your skin barrier. So if your skin is

feeling stressed and sensitive or if you're breaking out a lot and your skin needs to heal, this is really what I

would recommend using. So the formula of this day cream is lighter and then the night cream has a bit of calming

lavender in it and a slightly thicker formulation so that it can do double duty as a sleeping mask and that retains

all the moisture throughout the night. And the reason why I'm talking about this today is because I see self-care as

something so essential and it teaches me that as long as I stay consistent, I will see real results. When you show up

for yourself, even when you're tired, even when you don't want to do your skincare routine, and yet you still do

it, this really only takes 1 to 2 minutes a day max, your glow up is going to become so inevitable because

consistency is not about getting super intense and aggressive with your habits, but rather just having the patience and

allowing some time for you to settle into your results. So, if you want skincare that reflects your effort over

time, check out Yapod. I also love how beautiful these products look, it actually gives me so much joy to look

at. And I will link all of my products below and thank you to Yapoto for sponsoring this video.

So, usually when someone tries to start a new habit or routine and they think, "Okay, I need to change something about

what I'm doing because it's not working." The chances of them being in fight or flight mode is pretty high.

Because when things are not working out and you're inconsistent, all the more you want to fix something, that creates

even more anxiety. especially if you have ADHD like I do where sometimes you can be really focused and other times

it's so hard to get anything done. The truth is most people don't fail because they're lazy. And in fact, I don't even

know if I believe in laziness anymore. There's always some kind of underlying root of the problem and laziness is only

a symptom. And usually from what I'm observing, it's a response to lack of self-worth and security. But most of

all, I noticed that people fail to build new habits from a place of safety because you can't do that when your life

is super chaotic. you just simply cannot build a new foundation while your ground is still shaking and you can't build

discipline while your nervous system is still in survival mode and you're feeling anxious all the time. So tell me

if this resonates with you, okay? You know that feeling when it's like Sunday night and you're dreading your week.

You're constantly scrolling on your phone and you're overthinking everything. You're super behind and then

maybe something is due the next morning. Your brain is in danger mode before your week even starts. So when your switch is

on like that, your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain that handles decision-m, it shuts down. So

you're definitely not focused and instead you start acting impulsively. This is why you can sit around and binge

Tik Tok or Netflix for 6 hours, but you can't get started on an email or project plan because social media and Netflix

doesn't threaten your brain. It feels comforting and safe, but your work feels like you're going to fail. So when

someone says, "Oh, you know, just be disciplined." It's like telling someone to go run a marathon, but your ankle

sprained. You have to repair the environment that your mind lives in first before you get to start building

new habits. And it starts by some very very small physical things that almost seems too basic. But these basic things

are important. Like for example, in the morning making sure that you're getting enough sunlight, you're getting enough

sleep, you're staying active, you're moving your body, you're drinking enough water. These are all the easiest little

basic switches that can put you physically out of survival mode and put you in a safe place to grow. Because

morning sunlight tells your body that you're safe to wake up. Good sleep resets your brain chemistry. Your

willpower literally takes time to recharge at night. So this is really important. Okay. And then your movement

during the day is like fertilizer for your brain which triggers new neuropathways. So every time you're

moving your body, you are refreshing your mind. Even in the book Atomic Habit, the author James Clear said it

the best. Every action that you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become. You don't have to win every

time. As long as you win the majority of the time, you're already winning. So, even when you skip a day or two, it's

totally fine. It doesn't erase everything that you work so hard for. You can always get back up tomorrow and

keep going. And whatever tools that you want to use, please use it. I have daily planners, notebooks, calendars, and this

is so important because I have attention deficit. I also use Finch. It's like a self-care app where every little thing

you do goes towards taking care of a cute penguin. And you also get rewarded with new clothes, new furniture for the

house. A bunch of people in my Discord are on this, and I accept friend requests from everyone in my Discord on

Finch. And we're keeping everyone accountable. So for some reason I noticed that this

is drilled into everyone's brain. The fact that thinking success means you have to achieve a lot and that you have

to take a bunch of big steps until it's done. This is half true. So the lie is the big steps part. You don't have to

take any big steps at all. And the truth is eventually those big changes that happen all come from these microscopic

shifts. Tiny progress is being made even when it feels like nothing's happening or invisible. And this is what the

compound effect is about. It's like compound interest. You don't notice it at first and it's really boring. But

then slowly over time it starts to build momentum until it's unstoppable. And then once it gets to that inflection

point when the grab just keeps going up up up that's when it doesn't stop and you can only feed it so it goes even

more. And that's the point where you see the most returns. And the problem is most people give up and quit before you

even get to this inflection point before you even see any kind of success because your brain cannot handle uncertainty.

And then of course if you're constantly acting from a place of anxiety and fight orflight mode what makes you think you

can handle this uncertainty right? But let me tell you something and I am 100% certain about it. Okay, so let's say we

start learning French today. If you keep showing up, no matter what the certainty looks like and you practice and you make

progress the majority of the time, 51% of the time, that certainty is you're going to speak French fluently in a

year, maybe even less. Consistency is like a delayed feedback loop. It's always the hardest in the beginning,

always. Like my skin didn't clear up after two days, and I also didn't get crazy focus after doing meditation one

time or going to a yoga class one time. Your life will not change after one day of waking up at 5:00 a.m. in the

morning. But you're kicking it into gear. You're starting something. You're starting the work. It just hasn't shown

up yet. So think about bamboo trees for example. You won't even see anything going on for years, but it keeps

building roots further down into the earth which is completely invisible to us. And then suddenly boom, in only a

few weeks it shoots up like 90 ft. That's the compounding effect in nature. And since everything is interconnected,

you are the same as well. Your roots are forming right now. even when you show up and it doesn't look like anything is

working for you. So, never once in the history of my YouTube channel will you ever hear me

say that I want to seek perfection in any way. I can never be perfect and that's totally fine because perfection

is the enemy of good. Consistency is about being good constantly and not achieving perfection one time. And the

way that you do that is by staying in a good rhythm. So, if your routine is not something that you're constantly

fighting against and resisting, but rather something that you can flow with, that you really love and enjoy doing

genuinely, then this is going to be so easy for you because you can enter your rhythmic flow state so easily. If I'm

having a terrible day today, I will show up tomorrow when it's easier for me to get into my rhythm. And that is also a

form of self-care, which is a part of my purpose. And there's a quote I love and it says to be stubborn with your goals,

but flexible with your methods. That is the art of staying adaptable and flexible. And I'm a huge fan of that. If

you can bend without breaking, then you're going to outlast everyone who can't do that. And most people can't do

that. Whether that's stubbornness or rumination as in you're overthinking too much, that is also the enemy of good.

It's the enemy of progress. Because if you're stubborn and dead set on something and you keep showing up every

day no matter what, then genuinely you're being insane. But the real differentiator is that you can keep

showing up. and you can see when something is not happening the way that you want to. No matter what you do, then

stop resisting and take another path, a more natural path that feels right to you, that feels better to you. You have

to know when something just isn't going to work out no matter what. And you have to pivot. You have to know when to rest

and you have to know when to keep going. That's so important. True discipline is not to keep grinding and hustling no

matter what. Like, you have to think of it like devotion. And I find devotion to be so beautiful. I was reading a book

recently called Deep Work by Cal Newport and one thing that really stood out to me where he said that true focus is rare

because we train ourselves for fragmentation, especially with our phones, especially with social media.

Every single notification we get, it's constantly rewiring your brain to expect being interrupted all the time. So, if

you want to resist that, it's basically to just keep staying with something and stick with it. Even if it's not checking

your phone for an hour, right? Even if you're trying to stick to doing the dishes, something boring like that.

Because every time you resist distraction, you're teaching your brain that the things that you want to do

really matters to you. You have to be okay with being bored sometimes. If your nervous system can be trained to

tolerate that boredom, that's when you can really see a lot of growth because most of growth happens when you are

bored. You're building consistency through loving that monotony and not by chasing constant stimulation and

dopamine. Although I dare say that it helps you if you apply it the right way, but that would be the more difficult way

to do it. I love being bored because being bored and raw dog in life is really so hard to do. And if you can

overcome that, you're super human. Every single rep that you take at the gym, for example, is a vote for your

future self. You have to remember that. You won't see results the day that you show up, but your body is going to

remember it. Your brain's going to remember it. And every single step you take is you building your future.

Everything I've achieved in my life has been the result of me not knowing what the future holds or if I'll ever

succeed, but believing in myself anyways. And in my opinion, what better than to bet on yourself? The same thing

with other great habits like journaling, eating healthy food, showing up for therapy, washing your face every night.

You're not doing it for today. You're doing it for who you're going to become 3 to 6 months from now. And here's the

thing, right? Quality takes time. Things of quality have no fear of how long it's going to take. You can grow slower than

everybody else and still end up further ahead because you're staying consistent. And consistency rewards you

exponentially because your foundation is so solid. This is exactly what I have learned through every single time I try

to change my life and reinvent myself. Every time I glow up, every comeback that I take after suffering a huge loss

or an L or when I claw back from rock bottom, the slow build will always last longer than the quick recoveries. And I

love the slow burn because it really locks you in. Think about how many more molecules concrete cement has over a

bottle of air, for example. Concrete is so much more dense. It has such dense matter compared to air. And it is so

heavy, you can't just simply blow it away. I know that's a weird analogy maybe, but what I'm trying to say is

here that even when you fall off, you can always find your way back. And that's how you can get back into the

game and never fall off. I'm a woman in stand, by the way. Just because you skip a day or two, it's nothing compared to

like 365 days. It's literally nothing. So maybe stop thinking about your habits like a to-do list that you have to check

off and start thinking about it like going to karaoke. You can skip a beat or you can forget some lyrics, but if you

keep staying in rhythm and get back in, eventually you're going to complete your song, your performance. And that is

truly the beauty of consistency over time. Habits will never really disappear because you've built up the

neuropathways to handle these new habits of yours. Even when you think that you want to quit or you gave up on something

years ago and you come back to it, your neuropattern is still there waiting to be reactivated. Your muscle memory still

remembers that. That means every time you come back, you do rebuild faster than you think. And similarly, this has

been true for me. Even when I regained 10, 15 pounds for my Euro summer, for example, it takes me so much less time

to get back on track and do it again and get back to a healthy weight. It literally gets easier and easier over

time because your body and your mind will never forget all the work that you put into it. You're never going to

restart from zero. And if you have ever thought to yourself, okay, I can't stay consistent with anything. Okay, that is

not true. That is a fallacy. If you've always been consistent at, let's say, giving up or doom scrolling or

overthinking or worrying, even staying in a state of sadness and comparing yourself with other people, whatever it

is, if you're so consistent with those things, then why can't you be consistent with what you actually want? Because

you've already proven to yourself that you can stay consistent. Now, you just have to lock in and focus.

I know that doing boring stuff is not exciting or glamorous or anything. Going monk mode, locking in instead of like

balling out somewhere. And trust me, I know I live in Miami. It literally takes so much discipline to not want to ruin

your life there. But I'm truly living that life, that repetitive, boring life of quiet and discipline, which to me is

the ultimate aesthetic. Like I am more impressed by that than I don't know everything else that's material because

at least I can find meaning in it instead of losing my mind. I used to live a life of hedonism and I chase

after fun stuff. I would even go on multi-day benders, but the only thing that I got out of that experience

honestly is trauma and wasted time. So even back then when I was trying to find meaning in my life, I couldn't do it. It

was incredibly lame and it's better to just work hard because at least you know that you're staying true to yourself and

sometimes the things reveal itself to you through the work. So think about all the times when you actually did work

hard and be proud of that. You've done boring things before and so you know what these boring things can do for you.

It literally builds your peace brick by brick. And again from the book Atomic Habits, James Clear says you don't rise

to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. You don't have to even be incredibly extraordinary

at anything. You don't have to be amazing at all. Okay? But the more automatic and normal you make doing

these boring tasks seem to you, the more natural these systems are going to look when you start to build them. Even my

skincare routine is a system that I built. And these systems are put in place to protect you from yourself, your

ego, your impulsiveness, your so-called laziness, and your procrastination. So, what does a system look like? It can be

anything like a to-do list, a reminder, or even an alarm clock that you put in another room so that in the morning when

you wake up, you have to go and grab it from the other room so that it stops ringing. or even a friend who keeps you

accountable. For example, for my YouTube channel and Patreon members, we have a weekly event every Sunday on my Discord

where we do body doubling. That means we're together. We're doing anything that's productive. Whether you're

cleaning or doing homework or writing a book, whatever it is, we're all there present with you and keeping in touch

with each other. These are the kind of anchors that will keep you grounded even when you don't feel motivated to do

something because motivation can come and go. It's exactly like your thoughts and your emotions. And motivation, I

think it's like an emotion as well. Like if you really think about it, your flow state and your rhythm as well as all of

the things that you have learned from doing things correctly in the past, these things remain and stay with you

for the rest of your life. Even when you forget, your body remembers. So if you take anything from this video, just

remember that consistency is about building proof that you can trust yourself to do the things that you have

to do. And deep down, you know what you have to do. You don't need to know what the future is going to look like. As

long as you continue to show up, you're going to keep getting better at it. And everything is going to make sense to you

one day because it will. And that way, you're going to be successful no matter what. And you'll be so confident, too,

because you've done it already. If you refuse to quit, even when things are looking chopped or when nobody's

clapping for you, that makes you so dangerous. Trusting and staying accountable to yourself is truly the

real glow up. So, no matter what it is you want to build, you don't need to rush anything. Just give it some time

and space to accumulate and keep showing up because consistency beats intensity all the time. things of quality have no

fear of time and your level up is always going to be in the horizon. Okay? So, repeat after me in the comments. I will

show up for myself no matter what and lock in. If you want to meet other people who are just like you and I, I

have a group trip coming up next summer. We're going island hopping in Greece and this is the second year that I'm doing

this. You can sign up on my website. And thank you all so much for watching. Thanks to Yapoto for sponsoring my video

and I will see you in the next video. [music]