Introduction
This video shares personal insights and practical advice on how to make new friends, be a good friend, and build meaningful connections with others. The speaker reflects on their own journey from social isolation to enjoying a rich social life.
Overcoming Fear and Social Anxiety
- Initially, the speaker was a hermit, afraid to meet new people due to feeling misunderstood.
- It’s normal to feel scared, especially for introverts, but pushing yourself to say yes to social events helps.
- Meeting many people reveals that not everyone will be a good match, and that’s okay.
Finding Your People
- Look for like-minded communities, such as gaming groups on Discord or online social platforms.
- Use technology and social media as tools to connect rather than avoid.
- Many friendships can start from shared interests or communities, including YouTube subscriber groups.
Being a Good Friend
- Friendship is a two-way street: both parties should listen, talk, and follow up regularly.
- Avoid friendships where you are the only one making an effort.
- Respect boundaries; avoid oversharing personal trauma too early as it can overwhelm new friends.
Self-Reflection and Therapy
- If you struggle to maintain friendships, consider introspection or therapy to understand yourself better.
- Therapy can improve self-awareness, which enhances all relationships.
- The speaker recommends BetterHelp for accessible online therapy.
- For more insights on self-awareness, check out Mastering Human Behavior: Insights from Expert Chase Hughes.
Managing Expectations and Mindset
- Don’t enter friendships thinking about what you can get; focus on mutual support.
- Avoid negative self-talk like "everyone hates me"; this mindset can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Choose friends who make you feel seen, supported, and sane.
Choosing and Maintaining Friendships
- Prioritize friends who share your values, not just interests.
- Being a good conversationalist helps but doesn’t guarantee a good friendship.
- Limit the number of close friends to maintain quality connections.
- Regularly check in and nurture your friendships.
Final Encouragement
Making friends isn’t as scary as it seems once you start. Embrace opportunities to meet people, be genuine, and foster meaningful relationships. A private community is coming soon to support this journey. For more tips on building connections, explore 5 Psychology-Backed Secrets to Become Irresistibly Attractive and Mastering High-Value Presence: 11 Habits to Command Respect.
hello everyone welcome back to my second Channel today I'm going to be talking about how to make new friends how to be
a good friend and just how to form connections with other people when I was young gone younger being like literally
a couple of years ago I was a Hermit I was in my shell yes I can make friends but I didn't really want to so I really
stuck to the couple of people I knew and to be honest I was miserable and I felt like everyone hated me because these
friendships made me feel really really alone it wasn't until my breakup that I forced
myself to go out and make friends and I would say now that I have a lot of amazing friends I've met a lot of people
I also do not connect with I absolutely love doing it now and before what scared me actually and I remember because I
wrote this in my journal I said I'm afraid to go out and meet new people because I feel incredibly misunderstood
and I feel like when people meet me they misunderstand me and that makes me feel like sad or similarly to how I felt in
high school the truth is like there's gonna be people who make you feel this way and those people are not for you if
someone makes you feel bad they're just not your friend or they're not going to be a good friend to you and like [ __ ]
them it doesn't matter but you're going to meet amazing people to make you feel sane who you get on
with really well the world is literally your oyster like it is easier than ever to make friends online to find
communities because people want connection they want friends especially in a world that is so disconnected yet
connected it is more easy to make friends now so yeah for the introverts we're like oh but I'm too scared to meet
people I really don't know what you want me to say also I recommend meeting a lot of people say yes to everything go to
events Network whatever because the more people you meet the more you will realize that you just naturally do not
mesh with everyone when I was younger in my little Network in uni um I didn't match with a lot of my friends and I
would really blame myself I would be like oh this is a me issue there is something wrong with me until I got
older and I met a lot more people and now I have you know great friends and I just realized naturally you really just
don't match with some people now obviously if it's been years you have a pretty big data set you don't have
friends me maybe the common denominator is U maybe there is some issue with you now that you need to introspect on more
often than not some people are just not your Vibe and that's okay you will find your people if you try where are you
going to find your people in like-minded communities if you're a gamer perhaps you're going to meet your friends on
Discord I really don't appreciate when people say oh I want to make people the old-fashioned way well we live in a
modern society we have technology at our disposal social media and you can either hate it or utilize it so many of my
friends so many of them have been subscribers from my YouTube channel who became my best friends and I utilized
the fact that they were already in my community so we're probably similar to begin with you need to utilize whatever
resources you have to make friends if you're an introvert you might find people are scary and that's why I said
just go and meet as many people as possible and I promise you're going to get over your feet you cannot go into
friendships thinking what does that person offer me friendship is a two-way street when when people approach me
especially viewers a lot of them will go hey I really want to meet you because I just really feel like I could use some
advice and I would love to be friends with you do you think I read that message and go wow I cannot wait to be
somebody's personal therapist you seem like you would be a great friend now even if you're not a YouTuber you can't
go into friendships going what can you offer me what can I take from you friendship is a two-way street which
means especially when they're talking you're listening when you're talking they're listening it needs to go two
ways it also means you both need to follow up with each other I really really really detest the friendships
where I am the one who's constantly following up with the other person checking in how are you doing how is
this thing going and then they're not reciprocating that is not friendship at all and I don't invest a lot of time
into those people additionally when making friends in the early stages you don't really want to over share I know a
lot of people will tend to overshare because they think this is how I'm forming a Bond actually I'm PR I talked
about this in one of my videos a few years ago but there was some research paper that demonstrated people who over
share actually frighten the other person especially that other person is a very like mentally healthy and stable because
most people they don't want to deal with your trauma they've just met you you don't need to tell them what your entire
law they don't need to know your law yet you know obviously everything is circumstantial perhaps the other person
is oversharing as well and then you feel safe to overshare and then this creates a bond but everything's circumstantial
you really need to analyze the situation if you guys need help figuring out if there is something wrong with you then
maybe you should be trying therapy seriously I talk about therapy all the time but it's a great way to analyze
yourself figure out what's wrong heal yourself because I always say the more you know yourself the better your
relationships are going to be you're just going to be more self-aware you will see yourself in every person you
meet I swear to God little things I do I see it in other people and it helps me understand them better and that's why
I'm sponsored by better help better help is the world's largest online therapy service and their mission is to make
therapy more affordable and accessible better help makes finding a therapist easier than ever because everything's
online remote and by filling in a couple of questions within a few days better help will have matched you with your
perfect therapist now because therapist is a little bit like dating if you feel like they're not right for you you can
easily request a new therapist free of charge because if you're to go to in-person therapy this will cost you
more money and more time and you'll need to go get a new referral so if you're interested and you want 10 off your
first month the better help use my link right here personally if someone I really didn't know is telling me like
all the bad things that happen in their life all the problems I I'm going to be a little bit terrified
of them and also you're going to begin to associate them very early on with negativity they are not fun to be around
they're negative they're just trauma dumping on me no one wants to be your personal therapist you need to respect
people's boundaries also in friendships a lot of people I think are insecure so this is a very common feeling I found
where people will think oh that person hates me or they everyone hates me nobody likes me it's just your own
thoughts demonizing you you need to be rational but if you really struggle to maintain friendships you need to ask
yourself am I the problem am I following up with my friends or am I not doing anything and expecting them to reach out
to me because definitely I had a best friend in the past who would wait for me to message her and when I would message
her she wouldn't even come and then to the event and then she would get angry at the fact that we would go on and do
it without her I'm not friends with her anymore because that's not friendship it's also not friendship if you were
just showing up for someone and then they never show up for you the type of friend you want is the type of friend
you need to be so you need to ask yourself am I being a good friend to my friends you need to be supportive and
you need to make people feel sane if you're somebody that considers themselves to be really socially awkward
don't worry like you're going to find your crowd and I promise you're probably overthinking your situations you
shouldn't be going into a meeting a lunch or just any interaction thinking that person hates me go into it thinking
they like me and you will be acting differently I swear because because don't forget something called the
self-fulfilling prophecy self-fulfilling prophecy is basically like if somebody thinks badly of you and you know about
it you are going to fulfill that prophecy and start to act like that so similarly if you're going into every
interaction going they hate me you're probably going to act not like yourself you might act like a worse person and I
know I do and at the top of my head thinking about people who I've met who I don't want to be friends with they are
people who when I meet them they don't make me feel seen and they make me feel alone or they don't follow up on our
interactions they forget everything I say they're not reciprocal with the friendship or they only talk about
themselves use me as a therapist or they trauma dump these are the people that I try to avoid and I don't become friends
with and of course the people who just have like no connection with but that can't really be helped yeah when going
out and making friends it's less about impressing them and honestly more about finding people who are genuine share
similar and interests as you and not even just interest but values I think values are more important than your
interests especially as you grow older when you're in high school and like teen college Years it's really easy to just
be friends based on interests but as you get older values are more important another point I want to add if you are a
good conversationalist it's actually really easy to get on with people but just because you get on with them it
doesn't mean they're going to be a good friend or you're going to be uh good friends with them pick your friends
wisely because what I've also realized is when meeting so many people because I value my friendships so much I want to
be able to give adequate time to all of them which means I want to have time to text someone and be like hey how's it
going how's this thing you told me about going like catch me up but if you just have a
copious amounts of friends it's going to be really hard to Foster genuine connections so pick your close friends
wisely and once you have your close friends maintain the connection and Foster the relationship okay guys I hope
you enjoyed this video go out make friends it's not that scary once you start doing it it'll be great okay have
a great day private Community coming out soon
Overcoming the fear of meeting new people often starts with pushing yourself to say yes to social events, even if it feels uncomfortable. Remember that it's normal to feel scared, especially for introverts. By meeting various people, you'll discover that not everyone will be a good match, and that's perfectly okay.
To find like-minded friends, consider joining communities that align with your interests, such as gaming groups on Discord or social media platforms. Utilizing technology as a tool for connection can help you engage with others who share your passions, making it easier to form genuine friendships.
If you feel like you're the only one putting effort into a friendship, it's important to reassess the relationship. Healthy friendships require mutual effort, so consider discussing your feelings with your friend or focusing on relationships where both parties are equally invested.
Therapy can enhance your self-awareness, which is crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships. By understanding yourself better, you can identify patterns that may be affecting your friendships and learn strategies to improve your interactions with others.
When entering new friendships, focus on mutual support rather than what you can gain from the relationship. Avoid negative self-talk, as it can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, seek friends who make you feel seen, supported, and valued.
To maintain quality connections, prioritize friends who share your values and regularly check in with them. Limiting the number of close friends can also help you nurture deeper relationships, ensuring that you invest time and effort into those that matter most.
Being a good friend involves active listening, regular communication, and respecting boundaries. Avoid oversharing personal trauma too early, as it can overwhelm new friends. Remember that friendship is a two-way street, and both parties should contribute to the relationship.
Heads up!
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