How to Make Friends and Build Genuine Connections Easily

hello everyone welcome back to my second Channel today I'm going to be talking about how to make new friends how to be

a good friend and just how to form connections with other people when I was young gone younger being like literally

a couple of years ago I was a Hermit I was in my shell yes I can make friends but I didn't really want to so I really

stuck to the couple of people I knew and to be honest I was miserable and I felt like everyone hated me because these

friendships made me feel really really alone it wasn't until my breakup that I forced

myself to go out and make friends and I would say now that I have a lot of amazing friends I've met a lot of people

I also do not connect with I absolutely love doing it now and before what scared me actually and I remember because I

wrote this in my journal I said I'm afraid to go out and meet new people because I feel incredibly misunderstood

and I feel like when people meet me they misunderstand me and that makes me feel like sad or similarly to how I felt in

high school the truth is like there's gonna be people who make you feel this way and those people are not for you if

someone makes you feel bad they're just not your friend or they're not going to be a good friend to you and like [ __ ]

them it doesn't matter but you're going to meet amazing people to make you feel sane who you get on

with really well the world is literally your oyster like it is easier than ever to make friends online to find

communities because people want connection they want friends especially in a world that is so disconnected yet

connected it is more easy to make friends now so yeah for the introverts we're like oh but I'm too scared to meet

people I really don't know what you want me to say also I recommend meeting a lot of people say yes to everything go to

events Network whatever because the more people you meet the more you will realize that you just naturally do not

mesh with everyone when I was younger in my little Network in uni um I didn't match with a lot of my friends and I

would really blame myself I would be like oh this is a me issue there is something wrong with me until I got

older and I met a lot more people and now I have you know great friends and I just realized naturally you really just

don't match with some people now obviously if it's been years you have a pretty big data set you don't have

friends me maybe the common denominator is U maybe there is some issue with you now that you need to introspect on more

often than not some people are just not your Vibe and that's okay you will find your people if you try where are you

going to find your people in like-minded communities if you're a gamer perhaps you're going to meet your friends on

Discord I really don't appreciate when people say oh I want to make people the old-fashioned way well we live in a

modern society we have technology at our disposal social media and you can either hate it or utilize it so many of my

friends so many of them have been subscribers from my YouTube channel who became my best friends and I utilized

the fact that they were already in my community so we're probably similar to begin with you need to utilize whatever

resources you have to make friends if you're an introvert you might find people are scary and that's why I said

just go and meet as many people as possible and I promise you're going to get over your feet you cannot go into

friendships thinking what does that person offer me friendship is a two-way street when when people approach me

especially viewers a lot of them will go hey I really want to meet you because I just really feel like I could use some

advice and I would love to be friends with you do you think I read that message and go wow I cannot wait to be

somebody's personal therapist you seem like you would be a great friend now even if you're not a YouTuber you can't

go into friendships going what can you offer me what can I take from you friendship is a two-way street which

means especially when they're talking you're listening when you're talking they're listening it needs to go two

ways it also means you both need to follow up with each other I really really really detest the friendships

where I am the one who's constantly following up with the other person checking in how are you doing how is

this thing going and then they're not reciprocating that is not friendship at all and I don't invest a lot of time

into those people additionally when making friends in the early stages you don't really want to over share I know a

lot of people will tend to overshare because they think this is how I'm forming a Bond actually I'm PR I talked

about this in one of my videos a few years ago but there was some research paper that demonstrated people who over

share actually frighten the other person especially that other person is a very like mentally healthy and stable because

most people they don't want to deal with your trauma they've just met you you don't need to tell them what your entire

law they don't need to know your law yet you know obviously everything is circumstantial perhaps the other person

is oversharing as well and then you feel safe to overshare and then this creates a bond but everything's circumstantial

you really need to analyze the situation if you guys need help figuring out if there is something wrong with you then

maybe you should be trying therapy seriously I talk about therapy all the time but it's a great way to analyze

yourself figure out what's wrong heal yourself because I always say the more you know yourself the better your

relationships are going to be you're just going to be more self-aware you will see yourself in every person you

meet I swear to God little things I do I see it in other people and it helps me understand them better and that's why

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first month the better help use my link right here personally if someone I really didn't know is telling me like

all the bad things that happen in their life all the problems I I'm going to be a little bit terrified

of them and also you're going to begin to associate them very early on with negativity they are not fun to be around

they're negative they're just trauma dumping on me no one wants to be your personal therapist you need to respect

people's boundaries also in friendships a lot of people I think are insecure so this is a very common feeling I found

where people will think oh that person hates me or they everyone hates me nobody likes me it's just your own

thoughts demonizing you you need to be rational but if you really struggle to maintain friendships you need to ask

yourself am I the problem am I following up with my friends or am I not doing anything and expecting them to reach out

to me because definitely I had a best friend in the past who would wait for me to message her and when I would message

her she wouldn't even come and then to the event and then she would get angry at the fact that we would go on and do

it without her I'm not friends with her anymore because that's not friendship it's also not friendship if you were

just showing up for someone and then they never show up for you the type of friend you want is the type of friend

you need to be so you need to ask yourself am I being a good friend to my friends you need to be supportive and

you need to make people feel sane if you're somebody that considers themselves to be really socially awkward

don't worry like you're going to find your crowd and I promise you're probably overthinking your situations you

shouldn't be going into a meeting a lunch or just any interaction thinking that person hates me go into it thinking

they like me and you will be acting differently I swear because because don't forget something called the

self-fulfilling prophecy self-fulfilling prophecy is basically like if somebody thinks badly of you and you know about

it you are going to fulfill that prophecy and start to act like that so similarly if you're going into every

interaction going they hate me you're probably going to act not like yourself you might act like a worse person and I

know I do and at the top of my head thinking about people who I've met who I don't want to be friends with they are

people who when I meet them they don't make me feel seen and they make me feel alone or they don't follow up on our

interactions they forget everything I say they're not reciprocal with the friendship or they only talk about

themselves use me as a therapist or they trauma dump these are the people that I try to avoid and I don't become friends

with and of course the people who just have like no connection with but that can't really be helped yeah when going

out and making friends it's less about impressing them and honestly more about finding people who are genuine share

similar and interests as you and not even just interest but values I think values are more important than your

interests especially as you grow older when you're in high school and like teen college Years it's really easy to just

be friends based on interests but as you get older values are more important another point I want to add if you are a

good conversationalist it's actually really easy to get on with people but just because you get on with them it

doesn't mean they're going to be a good friend or you're going to be uh good friends with them pick your friends

wisely because what I've also realized is when meeting so many people because I value my friendships so much I want to

be able to give adequate time to all of them which means I want to have time to text someone and be like hey how's it

going how's this thing you told me about going like catch me up but if you just have a

copious amounts of friends it's going to be really hard to Foster genuine connections so pick your close friends

wisely and once you have your close friends maintain the connection and Foster the relationship okay guys I hope

you enjoyed this video go out make friends it's not that scary once you start doing it it'll be great okay have

a great day private Community coming out soon