Building Positive Identity in Education: Lessons from 'The Help'
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Introduction
In the world of education, how we communicate with students can shape their identities profoundly. As educators, we have the power to either uplift or discourage them through our words and actions. The classic film "The Help" offers insightful lessons for teachers and parents alike about the importance of positive reinforcement and self-identity. This article explores ways in which educators can harness these insights to foster a reinforcing environment for students and help them realize their potential.
The Power of Words
Words have immense power—particularly in a classroom setting. The iconic scene in "The Help" where a caregiver instructs a young girl to repeat affirmations demonstrates this vividly.
- "You is smart. You is kind. You is important." These affirmations are essential, especially in environments where students may not hear positive feedback from other sources. This principle emphasizes building a supportive culture that promotes self-acceptance and confidence in students.
Why Affirmations Matter
- Builds Identity: The statements reinforce positive self-concept—"I am smart," and "I am important."
- Encourages Growth: Helps students feel capable of achieving their goals, fostering a growth mindset.
- Creates a Safe Environment: Students feel accepted and valued, reducing anxiety and increasing classroom participation.
Recognizing Negative Labels
Conversely, negative labeling can have detrimental impacts on a student's self-esteem. Many students experience environments where they are labeled as "bad kids" or categorized based on mistakes. This leads to students internalizing those labels, which can deteriorate their self-image and academic performance.
The Clip Chart Example
Consider the prevalent use of clip charts in classrooms as a disciplinary tool. It’s designed to encourage good behavior by rewarding students who perform well while publicly marking those who do not.
- A student having a “stormy day” is physically represented by moving their clip down the chart, signaling to everyone around them that they’ve performed poorly.
- This public labeling can lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment, reinforcing a negative self-identity.
Strategies for Positive Reinforcement
1. Replace Clip Charts with Individual Support
Instead of public accountability charts, focus on individualized conversations with students.
- Talk to students privately if they struggle or misbehave and discuss how they can improve.
- Highlight what they did well, fostering a dialogue about growth rather than merely punishing them for poor choices.
2. Encourage Open Dialogue
Creating a safe space for students to discuss their feelings about school and their identity.
- Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspectives.
- Let students know their voices matter, thereby increasing engagement and trust.
Reflecting on Personal Experiences
Every parent and educator shares the responsibility of nurturing identity. Personal anecdotes can make these concepts more relatable. For instance, one parent reflects:
- When their child enters school, they celebrate every small victory—"Guess what, Dad! I had a rainbow day!" However, they also observe how children who struggle may feel labeled and isolated.
3. Shift the Narrative
Instead of focusing on failures (like a poor grade on a test), frame discussions in a way that emphasizes learning opportunities:
- "You didn’t pass this test, but that doesn’t define who you are. What can we do better next time?"
- This reinforces that mistakes are part of the learning process and do not diminish their worth or capabilities.
Building Community in the Classroom
Creating a classroom atmosphere where every student feels included is essential.
- Encourage group activities that require teamwork and cooperation, allowing students to recognize each other’s strengths.
- Train students to celebrate their peers' successes; this can create empathy and support among classmates.
The Role of Educators in Fostering Identity
Educators must actively work against the tide of negativity and foster a positive narrative within education.
- Interact with each student genuinely and frequently.
- Replace criticisms with constructive feedback that focuses on their journey and growth.
Conclusion
In conclusion, educators have a profound impact on shaping the identities of their students. By adopting strategies that promote positive reinforcement, open dialogue, and true engagement, we can cultivate environments that help students flourish. Inspired by themes in "The Help," we see that affirmations of worth are not just rhetoric; they are powerful instruments that can reshape how students view themselves. As educators and parents, let’s commit to saying, "You are smart, you are kind, you are important"—not just once, but as an ongoing affirmation that builds up our students’ identities every single day.
I'm lucky enough to work with teachers every single day and I get to get asked questions and they ask for advice that's
always good and bad because when you give the best advice it's always the worst advice so when I work with some
teachers the first thing they ask me is what should I do as a new teacher and the first thing I tell them is go watch
a movie and I asked him to go watch the movie the help and everything like why why would I watch the movie the help is
the educator how does that make me a better learner well if you don't want to watch the whole movie there's one clip
we need to watch every educator every adult every parent so enabling that's played by Viola Davis grabs her little
child that she's working with that she sits down and she looks her in the eyes and says repeat after me you was smart
you was kind he was important now I know this had a little backlash from the media but that message is deep because
at that time that little girl repeated that same statement she set it back to an adult you was smart you was kind he
was important and when I look at that that's where educators should start they should start building up the individuals
they work across from where every single day they tell them something about themselves to build them up where their
identity is yes I can do anything and the language starts to shift - I am I am smart I am kind I am important
that's how it should feel every day they walk into a school setting and when they go home they
should have that same feeling when they walk in the door at home they see their parent they see their brothers they can
say I am now let me shift this movie for you a little bit alright I'm gonna I'm gonna direct the help 2.0 I'm going to
shift the language we're gonna pick up that baby right now and in that scene Maybelline's gonna say a balloons gonna
say he was dumb he was not welcomed you as bad saying that to a child would make you leave that audience make you leave
that that theater because you'd be upset that we told a child they couldn't be them best cells they weren't good enough
because when we do that to children it builds their identity in a negative way they start to say I am bad I am NOT
welcomed I am down and people say well why would you put it that way because when I look at schools right now that
happens I walk into schools where students hear this I see adults look at human beings and tell them a different
format of who they really are and our students walk around the false identity in this false agency of the person that
they really are they start to think differently they start to act differently they start to blame others
because their agency doesn't tell them to build themselves stuff and to change the world their agency shifts - I have
to blame others because this is where I got so where do I see this most well how does it how does it affect my own
personal life well when I see it see this I think I'm a grandma I think I've her in the backyard
hanging up our clothes and having deep conversations about life and just talking to me and connecting with me and
having that great moment of I'm always going to remember you when my son sees this what does he see what does he feel
he feels shame he feels humiliation based on a clip why because he has been placed into a school system that changed
behavior we're going to follow a clip chart so let me give you a little bit of an example for my son's day my son goes
into school every single day and when he walks in he has to take his clip off his table and put it in the middle of this
chart now teacher told me about this she said hey we're gonna have a system to help your child learn behavior if your
child has a good day I want them to know they're having a good day so if your son in my class has a really good day he'll
get to move his clip from the middle to now either a sunny day or if he's having a really good day he can go up to a
rainbow day but if your son has a poor day he will have to Glatt grab his clip and move it to cloudy day or stormy day
hey let's live in stormy land and single day you go to school I want you to do everything you can to make your
teacher happy so you can move your clip from the middle to the stormy land I mean oh my goodness No - who - the
rainbow land and what happens every single day when he comes in he runs it excited and he tells me dad guess what I
had a rainbow day and give him a high-five and he feels good I thought that was good I thought he I thought
that was a powerful move but then I realized what else happens after he tells me dad guess what I just had a
rainbow day he goes guess what else happened today he said Jeff Jo and Brock had a stormy day and he just labeled all
they left their seat wherever they sit in their classroom walk up in front of all their friends and all their peers
and say let me tell you I'm a bad kid and clipdown that is the worst way to build anybody's identity up if anybody
was in this room right now and I gave you a clip and said please come clip down while I was having a talk you'd be
frustrated you'd be humiliated and you'd be embarrassed because that doesn't feel
good and if I did that day in and day out all of a sudden that would change who you thought about yourself and you
would say I am bad I am a stormy kid and I start to see it it starts a shift I'm a red kid or an out of school kid or a
call parent home kid or detention or referral kid and it shifts the identity of every individual maybe think about
this we start to think of them we have three kids here or five kids in this room all of a sudden we have a
collective of a community of students that are saying I'm bad I'm not welcome and I'm done
because some students have to clipdown because they didn't get their answer right on their sheet or because they
were they thought they were so right on the answer they shot their hand up or they just screamed out the answer in the
middle of their classroom and their teacher got frustrated their behavior made them clipdown and I see this and I
see these kids walking around not being able to say no that isn't Who I am no I'm someone different because they're
stuck being labeled an individual so what do we have to do number one thing if you have a clip chart we'll rip them
down take them away I like the structure don't get me wrong kids need to understand when they're doing well the
kids need to do need to understand when they're having up up a hard day but talk to them go and tell them face-to-face
nailed down get to the corner pull them outside and say hey guess what today you're being amazing or take them
outside and say hey today's a little bit rough what's going on because that gets a student farther then where the little
rainbow sticker gets they stake the sticker off they stick it on your school and they don't even think about it talk
to the individual make sure that you can build up their identity our students I promise you this will make a poor choice
and the best way to help them understand who they really are is by helping them own that behavior have the conversation
of what are you gonna do next and help them build their identity back up if you are still a great human being you're
still a great student and you can do whatever you want in this world so when they feel that identity their agency
shifts oh yes I can because if we don't we're gonna see our students fade back and when I started thinking about
identity agency what I'm thinking about the discipline component of this and how many times our students are told they're
wrong and bad and how many times I have it they don't have a chance to change that thinking but at the same time well
we start to see this and saying this is Who I am because of how teachers talk to him we go back into the classroom and we
start to see things that tells the student they're wrong again and we're finally being able to see some of this
come to light in the news but ladies and gentlemen well we see this in the news now what has been written on some of our
students homework assignments in the red marker that goes faster are our papers this happens too often and it goes back
to identity if you get a paper back and said hey I really enjoyed what you wrote here we're missing a couple points why
don't we fix this together other than saying this is wrong this is bad in red marks all over which two is
gonna thrive next we talk about the discipline component but think about your feedback component now when you
talk to kids what do they feel do they feel good about who they are is their identity as I am strong I am smart I'm
ready to learn tomorrow or they'll leave in your classroom saying I'm never gonna get this I'm dumb I should be in that
class over there I'm not welcome because all my peers around me got real big smiley faces I got a big red frowny face
though I got red and black marker all over it we have the power we have the power to change individual than how they
feel about themselves we have the power to make students go home and say I am proud of Who I am
I'm excited of Who I am I make a difference in this world and sometimes we don't take that power and when I look
at our students now there's too many other components telling them that they're bad and they're wrong and
they're not welcomed our students go on to social media and they're liking things because that's who they think
they have to be and they're building a false identity in those areas of social media the adults and our campuses
shouldn't be adding on to that we should be one that helps shut down those false identities and say you know it that's
not who you really are let's talk about who you really are and let's build you back up because the best
thing that we can do is have a group of students that are all different and proud to be that they're different and
proud to say I'm gonna do something different because that makes change I want kids that have bad behavior and be
able to say you know what that was a bad day now that I'm a bad person I want students to fail the test to say I feel
that test not that I'm a failing in life that I feel the test I'm gonna do it better next time because I don't want
all the students to be the same and sometimes what you're doing is you're putting kids in categories of you're the
good kid you're the bad kid you're the kid I just want away from me and our students
our students hear the tone you talked to him with our students see how you interact with them there's a study back
in that day I was called the still face experiment where a mom sits in front of her child and the child is crying and
screaming and pointing and the mom gives her all the attention in the world and that student at that moment that baby
knows that this mom cares about me and even out of a very young age I could say all of a sudden they start to feel
good about who they are in that same experiment the mom shuts her face down steel face doesn't move the baby cries
cries changes who they are to try to grab the attention of an adult the mom at eventually goes back give some love
to the student but when I see this I look in our classrooms do we still face our students do we connect to the same
student over and over again because they know the answer because I feel that they're invested into the classroom so I
shift over here and don't look over here so the identity of these students is I'm not welcome to this classroom I don't
have the right answers and my teacher doesn't believe in me I encourage you when you get into your classrooms talk
to every single student that you can connect with them look them in the eyes ask them for their input build a safe
place that no matter the answer I'm glad that you're participating with us I want you here I want you with me and if you
do something wrong or if you write something wrong I'm going to tell you hey not today not the best you but
tomorrow is gonna be even better because I want to build up identity in every single case we can because there's gonna
be moments that change is gonna happen we have to understand when things change and when kids misbehave and when kids
don't thrive as best as they can be if we just work with a little bit of love a little bit of care it's gonna change who
they think about themselves I I bag adults please please stop beating down our students please tell them they're
amazing and that they can change the world because I have beautiful children my own I have three little kids
are gonna make an impact on this world and when my kids make a mistake I want to tell them it wasn't okay but we can
do better tomorrow because I know this is gonna happen is that if we work with our students even when they make a poor
choice I want her in her life to be able to say I am important I am smart and I am kind no matter what she does that's
my goal for her that's my goal for every individual I come encounter with you know what I understand too if some
educators have never been told either that you are smart that you are kind and that you are important so really quickly
with me I want you to say it after me just so you can hear for one time in your life I am smart I am kind and I am
important because when we started doing it and we started embracing that into all our students we're gonna start
hearing from it I am too we are and we build schools that say we are we are smart we are kind we are important we're